Last month we took our first trip with a nanny. It was just the four of us (hubby, me & the twins) plus our summer babysitter/nanny. We (all three of us – me, hubby, & nanny) weren’t really sure what to expect or how things were going to go since it was our first time traveling with help and as help. We went to a ski resort that offered all day ski school for children 3 and up. I was pretty skeptical as to how this all was going to go, because when we made our plans the girls were still napping in the afternoon (they eventually dropped naps months before our trip). We had some preliminary scenarios as to how we would handle nap time – but overall we all knew we would have to be fluid and flexible with our plans. Who knows – one might balk at going to ski school or maybe one (or both) would get ill etc.

All my worries and “what if’s” never materialized. We all (nanny included) had a great trip! I learned a lot about myself and the expectation that I had for this type of experience that I never knew about. So why did it all go so swimmingly? Below are some things I thought about and you might want to consider also.

Are you a good fit?
Hiring a babysitter to come work in your home for a few hours is one thing, but bringing someone along on a trip as an employee is another. The first thing you have to ask yourself is whether you like this person. Of course you like them, they watch the most precious beings in your life. But do you like to be around, them spending time in the kitchen talking? I am not saying you have to be BFF’s – they are still an employee. But if this is the type of person who you trust completely with your children, who adores them, and is a terrific caregiver however, you cannot wait to get out of the house when they arrive because you’re just not crazy about being around them – not the person to hire for a vacation.

What expectations do you have of your nanny?
We laid out a plan as to how our day would go. Since my hubby was at a conference from 7-11 & 5-8, our nanny would help me get the girls ready for ski school and help drop them off. Then she was free until 3:30 to help pick them up or earlier if we ran into any problems with the girls. In the afternoons/evenings she helped entertain (took one to the pool if both didn’t want to go) feed, and bath them. Once my hubby returned she took the evening shift so we could go out to dinner. Thankfully we never had to deviate from our initial plan. On the surface these were my only expectations of her – but I learned/discovered something about myself – I can’t delegate. Ok I can, but there is a problem with my method.

I had an “ah ha” moment shortly after we arrived – I think it was because I finally felt like the term “family vacation” was not an oxymoron. I had been observing our nanny in action out of the normal environment of our home – she had initiative (always did), knew what to do when, saw what needed to be done and instead of asking what she wanted me to do she jumped in and did it. What I realized is that I am a poor delegator. I can’t even delegate tasks to my hubby. The problem is (well there are many, but here are a few reasons) I am the type of person who sees a situation and knows there are things that need to be done – an assessor – and I don’t wait to be directed, I do it. Nothing drives me crazier than when everything is going to hell in a hand basket and someone walks in and says “how can I help” – WTF how can you help!!!? I can’t think or see straight and you need me to tell you the obvious! Just do something! Or better yet someone just standing there watching the drama unfold and then walking away. OK I know this is my problem and I need to work on it. But, just imagine how awful this trip would have been had we brought help along that required direction constantly. Not good. To make matters worse, if someone does a poor job or clearly is slacking/just getting by and doing the bare minimum that the task requires I won’t ask for their help or let them help again – I know I really have to work on that. So lay out your expectation early and know your faults/hang-ups whether it’s not delegating enough or delegating too much.

Flexibility
Aside from the neurosis above I am a really flexible person. Whomever you bring had better be flexible also. I don’t need to tell you, traveling with young children requires being flexible and a certain amount of “winging it”. When we arrived at the resort our condo wasn’t ready. We had three adults who were tired of traveling, two 3 year olds who wanted to do anything but sit and wait, and grocery shopping to do. Quickly we spied the pool – two of us got out ours and the girls swim suits – pool time – the other adult did the grocery shopping. Not exactly what we had planned but, we all went with it, had fun, ate dinner on time, and were able to get a good nights sleep.

Pay
This minor (major) detail we discussed early on. A ski trip is not a cheap vacation. We flew, had to rent a car, would be feeding three adults, paying for lift tickets for full day skiing for four days for three adults, and needed the space in a condo for all five of us. My husband felt that an expense paid trip was payment enough. We gave her the option of all expenses being paid or accepting payment and being responsible for her expenses outside of travel, room, and board. She eagerly snapped up the all expense paid trip option, which I think in the long run was the best one.

Giving your help space and free time
We were all fortunate that free time for our nanny wasn’t an issue. She was able to board all day while the girls were in ski school. Then in the evenings after they went to bed she had time to herself. Had it not worked out this way, I think we would have made an effort to make sure she was able to have some down time herself – all work and no play makes for a unhappy nanny. Giving her an area/space of her own was possibly more important to us than her. This person may want to have some time away from you and vice versa. So, make sure they have more than just a closet to go to and unwind from you and your children.

What are your experiences with hiring a nanny or traveling with one? What would you change about your experience?